All those strange Mallu names suddenly make a lot of sense! Mine, though, does not belong to this category – read my post Tame that name for details. You have to admit, though – we Mallus know how to laugh at ourselves!

A relative of ours’ firstborn was named Sony – this was back in the 1980s when music tapes and the Walkman was the rage. When my cousin George heard of it, he chuckled and quipped, “What are they going to name their next two kids – National and Panasonic?”

Finally, the name ‘Boben’ is mentioned twice below – reminds me of a cartoon strip called Boben & Molly on the last page of a Malayalam magazine that my parents used to subscribe to during the 1970s in Bombay (Mumbai). We kids couldn’t read the language, so would pester my mom to, even though we mostly couldn’t understand the jokes – probably because they were political satires…

The formula below that I got through a mailing list may be old hat – from 2005 or thereabouts – but worth reproducing!

© Sosha Srinivasan

It has been a well kept secret for eons, but finally Itty Boben Jacob Elias Kuruvilla from Pazhookaville, near Thelmasherry, Kerala has consented to let us publish this classified Mallu formula, on the naming of Mallu Christian kids.

1. Select a combination of both the mother’s and father’s names. e.g. Suresh and Sharon = Susha, or Joseph and Beena = Jobi.

2. The addition of a ‘mon’ (meaning son) or ‘mol’ (meaning daughter) is optional. eg: Sushamol, Jobimon

3. To attach a modern, Anglicized feel to the names, the mol or mon can be replaced with boy or girl. eg: Jobiboy, Sushagirl.

4. For the politically correct Keralite family, mol and mon can be replaced by the universal ‘kutty’(child), which
can be used for both boys and girls! eg: Jokutty, Susikutty.

5. Even parents having combination names can still give their children suitable names eg: Libi and Jobi = Lijo.
However, in the scenario where the parents already have combination names that cannot form more comprehensible child names. eg: Itty and Amukutty, would produce only Itam (which doesn’t even sound like a name), or Amit (which is like Northie and stuff!!!!), then:

a. Use an English word like Baby, Merry, Titty, Pearly, Smiley, Anarchy, etc.

b. Use a combination of two English names that you think sound cool (but never cool enough) like
Meredith + Gina = Megi, or
Sharon + Darlene = Sharlene

c. Use a name from the Bible (and not Nebuchadnezzar! Use one that even Vellia-ammachy can pronounce!) like Jacob, Sam, John, Joseph, Mathew, or Jijo!

d. Use a name that sounds like a cuss word but isn’t. eg: Boben, Prussy, Shagi, JustinTimberlake etc.

Note: The use of the letter ‘j’ is useful in the naming of sibling where names that sound alike are a novelty. eg: Ajji, Sajji, Majji, Bhajji and Nimajji, or Sijo, Lijo, Jijo, Anjo, Panjo, Banjo.