Indu Balachandran is a regular-but-sporadic contributor to The Hindu (which, by the way,  has introduced a beautiful beta version at http://beta.thehindu.com/ – such an improvement on the original).   I make it a point to read Indu’s offerings out loud to my son and they never fail to raise peals of laughter.

Here are links some of her earlier pieces:

- (S)hopping mad
- Lessons in Chenglish
- Oops Let Me Politically Correct That!
- Look what I picked up on my travels

Here is a passage from her latest article, Relatively speaking… on Tam Brahms (for the uninitiated that’s not an obscure composition by the famous German composer, but a short ‘n’ sweet way of referring to Tamil Brahmins!) describing a local relative introducing older kin to a visiting youngster:

“Do you know who this is? This is your Ambi mama who is Cheelu athai’s son-in-law Gopi’s cousin, who is married to Ramani athimber’s daughter, who is also the co-sister of Lavanya Aunty…”

Reminds me of older female relatives in our Syrian Christian community, of which my maternal grandmother, my Ammachy, reigned supreme! She’d start off real simple, but then lead us through this veritable maze of marriage and blood connections that became increasingly more labyrinthine by the minute. At the end of it, we’d have a glazed look in our eyes that would take ages to revert to normal…!

As kids, my cousin Mona (there is a link to her travel blog on my side bar) and I once travelled as front-seat passengers in a car with Ammachy and our respective mothers (who happen to be sisters) in the back seat.

There was a lull in their conversation and Mona grabbed the chance to liven things up a bit.

“Sosha! Don’t you know who I’m talking about?” she asked me loudly in Malayalam, nudging me in the ribs.

I looked at her blankly because we hadn’t been talking at all, merely watching the sights through the window.

“Our Benny mon from up-on-the-hill’s sister-in-law’s second cousin…”

“Oh!” I exclaimed, catching on as she gave me a broad wink and an even broader grin.

“… who married Pulimootil* Mathai’s daughter-in-law’s maternal uncle…” Mona finished with a small hiccup that sounded suspiciously like a suppressed giggle.

(*Pulimootil – a common “house name” that literally translates as “At the base of the tamarind tree”. Probably to differentiate between other Mathais from Plaamotil (at the base of the jackfruit tree), Maamootil (at the base of the mango tree) and Malamootil (at the base of the hillock)!

We turned our heads as casually as possible.

In the backseat Ammachy was now sitting bolt upright, listening keenly, eyes aglint, head tilted to one side – she was in her element. We could practically visualize tiny gear wheels whirring and clicking into place in her brain.

But she, the great exponent on Syrian Christian genealogy, couldn’t place who Mona was describing…

“Addhe aaraa?” she asked. “Who is that?”

[* Read Mona's comment here to fill in on what happened next - plus a couple of other details - which escaped my memory(!)]

The two of us burst into laughter… Mona had made it up and managed to fool her too! Sweet revenge!

It took Ammachy a few seconds to realize she was having her leg pulled, but then she – and Mona’s mom and mine too – joined in the laughter.

Ammachy lived to the ripe old age of 92.  She was active and her mind was as sharp as ever until the end. No doubt all those mental gymnastics she put herself through regularly helped!

© Sosha Srinivasan